Bills. Work. Stress. The never-ending headache. Why were we in such a rush to grow up?
There's an episode of Teen Titans Go! (yes, I watch cartoons. Don't judge me.) where Cyborg and Beast Boy shudder at the word responsibility. It appears like an NBC The More You Know slogan as the fellow teammates explain why responsibilities are important. When you watch it through a kids lens, it's funny because they kick and scream at the concept of having to do adult duties, but in the back of your mind, as you watch Robin who is now Nightwing with a child and Raven who is an all-knowing essential being, all you can feel is dread of some sort.
My latest adventure in adulthood came last month. My mom and I moved to a newly built apartment building. A complete 360 from the previous apartment building that I've lived in for 32 years (God, that's sad. More on that in time). I've always gone through the terrible twos of adulthood, but this move, with the spirit of Ric Flair. Woo!
I did everything. I researched, I spoke with brokers, I looked at god knows how many apartments (virtually and in-person), I prepped boxes, I finalized, I spoke with building managers and so much more, all with little or no sleep. On top of all this, I'm trying to complete a deadline that I made for myself and go to shows/exhibits I've been wanting to go to before the year ended (didn't get to do any of these).
It's exhausting trying to be responsible. Trying to complete your list of to-do's all the while attempting to sneak in some playtime.
What was it that made us wish we were older? Oh, right it was our older cousins and siblings being able to escape without adult supervision. It was freedom. That sweet bountiful freedom. Unfortunately, freedom comes at a price. This illusion of doing whatever we want and going where ever we want was just that. It was a fairy-tale land of going to places we always dreamed of going with friends and buying things that our parents would never buy for us because "we don't need that" (you don't know what I need!). It was the thought that being out on our own means we don't need to report to anyone, but guess what? LIES! We have bosses that tell us to make deadlines for reports, a nagging partner that just won't quit or bills reminding us to pay the minimum of an over the top student loan debt.
Once we enter the realm of adulthood, it's like being pushed through a cloud of smoke almost comically. We fall into this role where some of us are barely prepared for. It starts in college, but let's be real. How many of us were adults during those four years? College prepping us for adulthood is like High School prepping us for College. It was pointless. I still had to do two years of High School before doing my major.
This adult thing is very overwhelming. It's like being in the middle of the ocean and just as your about to get to shore, you're yanked underwater. With each breath you gasp for, you're spontaneously being pulled under. It's this false sense of relief that's attached to being grown up.
You're constantly doubting yourself and hoping you're making the right decision. The fear of not having a job or worst, losing one plays on repeat because no job means no money. No money means no food or home. The CVS receipt of responsibilities is ridiculous and all we want to do is sleep all day, eat 'til we're full and have someone clean up behind us. But that's not realistic. I mean, sure we can eat junk food for breakfast or stay up 'til two in the morning, but our health insurance will take a hit and we got shit to do.
So going forward, considering how we didn't appreciate our youth as much as we should've, why don't we embrace the years we have left. I have a feeling once we hit the silver years, we'll be looking back like we are now and asking the same question.
Just an introvert sharing her thoughts and interest with the world